I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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