dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
