I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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