She is in my trunk
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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