The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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