Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I would ride that face into the sunset
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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