i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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