just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
