It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize