so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
