very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
