I must be too annoying 4 u.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
