I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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