Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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