My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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