bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize