i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
