you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
