If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
