We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
