he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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