You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
