I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
