Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
