I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
