How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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