We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
