I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
