u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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