**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
