I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
