Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
