i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize