Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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