what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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