were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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