would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
