people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
