I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize