the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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