If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
