Don't you send me to vm
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Panties = found
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
