how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
