dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
