Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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