you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
