She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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