woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
