I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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