I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I deserve to be covered in dicks
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
