I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
