just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How naked do you want me to be?
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