Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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