It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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