so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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