Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This is my gift to your gina
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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