brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
