Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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