my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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