Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
