last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
