hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
