is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
