We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yo dont text me then not text me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
