i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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