I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
