It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
