weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
