Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
