batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
