i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
