You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
