How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
