I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
